Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Alcoholism and my Adoption

I never met my biological maternal grandfather; he died before I reunited with my original family. I've long been aware of the role of my grandmother in my adoption but I'd never, until recently, considered the role of my grandfather.

On our recent road trip, my bmom and I talked nonstop for days. She was in the midst of writing a series of poems about alcohol, and perhaps as a result of this my grandfather's alcoholism, and his wife's habitual response to it, was a thread woven through our conversation.

As my mother talked a picture emerged of a family that was adept at keeping up appearances, employing a strategy of refusing to acknowledge what was really going on, even among themselves. This was a family that "worked things out," but never really resolved anything. They were good at cover ups, experts at hiding what was shameful and soldiering on as if nothing had happened.

When the teenage daughter in this family was finally discovered/acknowledged to be not only pregnant but well along, they knew how to respond to the problem. The family's emergency response system was already in place, and well rehearsed.


  1. Wow, that is a huge fact to uncover--that your grandfather's alcoholism played a roll in your adoption.

  2. It was almost midnight when I read this entry as I had started with the beginning of your blog in the morning, but after reading this particular one I knew immediately I had to share it with my bio-mom. It wasn't 20 minutes later and she sent me an OMG!! Did you write this about me.... told ya I swore we came from the same family. LOL. She is know going to read the rest of your blogs as well, and since I know all to well our common "enthusiasm" gene, she will most likely spend all day reading them like I did. Thank you so much for sharing. I am looking forward to our continued connection.

  3. Thanks for reading ... and reading! :-)

  4. I am catching up here... I have started working full time outside of the home and am really falling behind in my internet reading... which is a good thing overall but I seem to have missed so much of your blog! I think of you often....


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