Monday, November 12, 2012

NaBloPoMo/NAAM Day 12: Significant Others

The prompt: Significant Others Has being adopted affected your romantic relationships? If so, how? What is your relationship like with your adoptive family? Do you feel connected to your extended adoptive family (grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, etc.)? If reunited, do you feel connected to your extended natural family? Are there disconnects? Explain.

For many years, I wouldn't fall in love unless I could see the end from the beginning. My "type" was a guy with COMMITMENT ISSUES stamped in bright letters on his forehead. Alternatively, I liked a situation that had an expiration date -- my preference was the summer romance. I was addicted to the falling, but I was also addicted to the breakup. I jonesed for the emotional intensity of the entire cycle.

Was I reenacting an adoption separation scenario, over and over again?

There's really no way to know for sure. I have no non-adopted self to function as the control for comparison. Certainly there are plenty of non-adoptees who struggle with commitment issues, as well as plenty of adoptees who don't. Does that mean that my own relationship issues are unrelated to adoption? I don't know.
Read the rest of the post at Lost Daughters.

3 comments:

  1. " I have no non-adopted self to function as the control for comparison." That's the kicker isn't it?

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  2. Yes, that's it exactly. I happen to love the basset hounds, but I am not a basset hound and never will be. And yet there are other adoptees who say they don't feel this way at all. I hope that people who read my post will also read this one: http://earthstains.blogspot.com/2012/11/family-relationships-who-do-i-feel.html
    It really is true that no two adoptees are the same, even though many of us also find significant overlap of experience.

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