Sunday, June 16, 2013

I Am My Father's Daughter: A Year In Review

Open Adoption Roundtable #49: The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It’s designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. 
The current prompt: Write about adoption and your father.

Last year on Father's Day, I responded to an Open Adoption Roundtable prompt by writing a blog post in the form of a letter to the father I had never met. A few days later, I mailed that post to my birth father, along with an additional letter further explaining my reasons for contacting him. It was not my first time reaching out to him. I had made an earlier attempt, approximately five years earlier, to which he did not respond. In this second attempt I was much clearer in my wording. I made a direct request. I said that I very much wanted to meet him at least once.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

A Glimpse Into My Adoption Reunion

It's my aunt's birthday today. I'm so glad adoption reunion brought us into each other's lives. Here's something I wrote earlier this week about our first meeting:
Her hair was a color similar to mine and cropped into an almost identical style. We were dressed in the same colors. We stared at each other all evening long. In my face, she saw my mother as well as aspects of my father's family. She noticed that I turned my hand a certain way when talking, a gesture I share with my mother. It was the first time I had experienced that kind of recognition, and something that had long been off-kilter in me clicked into its proper alignment as I saw myself reflected in her eyes.
Click here to read the rest of the post at BlogHer.

nuchylee at

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Learning to Inhabit My Body

I have struggled all my life to be fully present. As a child, I was frequently identified by others as "spacey," "a daydreamer," and "off in her own world." I moved into adulthood as a reader and a writer. I tend to live in my head, ignoring -- or attempting to ignore -- the body.

sixninepixels at
I say "attempting to ignore" because, truth be told, the body refuses to be ignored. For as long as I can remember, I have dealt with chronic pain -- a condition that I share with many of my fellow adoptees, as well as with countless other sufferers. In my case, the pain is a slippery one, moving around my body, settling in one spot for a while and then moving on to another. My neck and shoulders are its most common residence, but it has also been known migrate down to my lower back or into my hip, knee, or even my ankle.

I've used a variety of techniques over the years to manage the pain: medication, yoga, massage, chiropractic care, etc. All have been effective to varying degrees, but pain management, I've found, is an ongoing process. Sometimes I manage well; other times, not so well.
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